Don’t Get Stuck in Hurricane Season

Do you live in a state of emergency?

Is your fear of the future holding you back?

Are you exhausted from seemingly weathering storm after storm and lacking the time and the energy to enjoy your life?

Maybe you’re stuck in hurricane season and it’s time to snap out of it.

I, too, was stuck in emergency mode for years and snapped out of it with the power of awareness.

Read on to discover ways you, too, can storm-proof your life.

Living in “hurricane season” is not fun

My recent trip to Puerto Rico before the arrival of Hurricane Dorian perfectly illustrates what I mean.

At the end of August, I visited Puerto Rico to check on my 90-year-old dad. From the moment I arrived on Friday afternoon, he was agonizing over my safe return to the mainland the following Wednesday, one day before Dorian was expected to waltz by the island.

At that time, Dorian was merely a tropical storm and was not prognosticated to damage Puerto Rico.

Yet, my dad was obsessing on Friday over something that might — or might not — occur six days later, after I was supposed to arrive safely in New Jersey.

PTSD from Hurricane Maria,? suggested a friend.

Hardly. My dad has been stuck in hurricane season all his life, and conditioned me to live in such a state for years. Until I intentionally adjusted my mindset.

From the birth of an atmospheric event off the coast of Africa, my dad spends hours daily, tracing its path across the Atlantic on a map.

He follows closely the predictions of when and how it may affect Puerto Rico, and sends me daily updates with meteorological maps. It has become a bonding ritual at this stage in my life.

The sad part is that, while he agonizes over these uncontrollable events, my dad is missing out on the good stuff that is happening around him.

Not surprisingly, I grew up to be a compulsive catastrophizer in those areas where I felt I had no control. And I tried to control everything.

Had I continued in his footsteps, I would have been consumed by fear and ruined a vacation that was instead filled with friends, family and good food. And the weather was spectacular, to boot!

I enjoyed my vacation because I consciously chose to savor every moment rather than giving in to worry and fear of the unknown. And I vow to live that way every single day.

Freedom comes from accepting that life is unpredictable

But the truth is that, like hurricanes, life is unpredictable. And storms are an inevitable part of life.

It is a fruitless pursuit to try to control every outcome, every situation.

And when you attempt to do so, the result is frustration and despair.

The way out? Awareness.

Do a little reconnaissance. What areas of your life seem to be crushed by storm after storm?

Is it the result of unforeseen circumstances, lack of preparation or an obsession with what might happen?

If you find yourself worrying obsessively over events that never take place, it is time to protect your mind from self-inflicted torment.

And if you’re blind sighted by avoidable troubles, make a conscious effort to face them head-on going forward.

The key: be prepared not scared

No worry in the world is sufficient to prevent a natural disaster.

In the scheme of things, it was not the worrying that kept my dad safe during Hurricane Maria two years ago. It was his thorough preparation: stashing enough food, water and fuel to weather the scarcity, and building a solid home that has withstood countless storms since 1963.

Similarly, the best we can do is to live our lives wisely, being ready for adversity and jumping in with courage to deal with its aftermath.

That’s why it is essential to take appropriate precautions while keeping a positive outlook.

Take the precautions called for in each situation and, just as importantly, free your mind from the negative thinking that holds you back — in every area of your life.

A mind cluttered with fear and negativity can’t respond effectively to life’s challenges, and a mind clouded by denial cannot face the dangers ahead.

The answers to life’s quandaries can only surface in a serene mind.

Do a quick inventory…

How many times have you obsessed over an outcome that never materialized?

Conversely, how many times have you been unprepared for situations that were reasonably foreseeable?

As you face life’s challenges ponder this… “Is there anything I can do right now that would prepare me to best handle this situation?”

And take the right action. And release the negativity that does not serve you.

The trick is to learn to catch yourself as you experience feelings of irrational fear and denial and release them, so you can act from your highest self.

A steady meditation practice can help you clear your mind and more easily identify and dissolve destructive emotions.

Add to your inquiry: “How is this anxiety making me feel? Is it spilling into other areas of my life?”

“Is it rendering me ineffective, consuming my attention?”

“Where do I feel it in my body? Tension in my muscles? Tension headaches? In the solar plexus? What are these sensations trying to tell me?”

Once you identify these issues, you can take appropriate action.

Don’t be a victim of social patterns of thought and behavior

Once you learn to tap into your higher self to tackle these issues, expand your inquiry to finding the origin of these harmful thought and behavior patterns and nip them in the bud.

Are they the offspring of your family culture? Of social forces?

At 90 years of age, I accept that my dad is not going to change. But you have the power to choose whether you live mindlessly controlled by family culture and social norms, or examine, reevaluate and choose a new way of living.

Build a solid mental home and stock it with positive thoughts!

Make no mistake… you can overcome your family culture and its unhelpful patterns.

Here’s the perfect example.

I once attended a serenity retreat. One of the participants complained about her inability to stop worrying and blamed it on being born with “the worry gene.”

Curiously, this woman was the mother of the retreat’s presenter. Either “the worry gene” skipped a generation, or the teacher, a psychotherapist, transcended the family patterns of worry and fear.

When facing a challenge, ask yourself: “What’s the worst that could happen? Can I handle it?”

Some teachers trace all preoccupations to the human fear of death.

Continue asking yourself these questions again and again until you come to the realization that the ultimate fear is the fear of death itself, an inevitable event you cannot control.

Constant fear and worry can only lead to sleepless nights and miserable days. Is it worth it? Can it keep you safe?

Neutralize the forces that keep you in the eye of the storm

As you expand your inquiry, ask yourself if your feelings of fear, worry and doubt are supported by outside agents in your life. And why?

In the case of natural disasters, the news constantly feed us frightful images and terrifying scenarios.

Why? Because it is the media’s job to keep us informed and safe and, in order to stay in business, they also need to keep our attention.

Likewise, there may be people in your life who benefit from your fear, whether rational or irrational.

Are there people in your life who benefit from engendering fear and worry?

Just like the news stations profit from keeping you glued to the tube, there may be people in your life who want to keep you firm in your beliefs, because they may be affected by your personal change. And that doesn’t make them bad or wrong — just human.

Does a partner, parent or employer benefit from your staying stuck where you are?

Is your partner afraid that you’re going to change and possibly leave them behind if you pursue that advanced degree or promotion?

Are your parents encouraging you to take the safe route to keep you close to home?

Does your employer discourage you from personal advancement to hold you in a job you do well and they think they can’t fill if you quit?

These are tough questions that demand thoughtful answers and candid discussions, but are critical to keep you on course to your personal realization.

But whatever you do, know that you have within you the tools to lead a healthy fulfilled life — use them!

There’s calm after every storm

In my case, I could not convince my dad that worrying about Dorian was useless, and I overheard him say on the phone that he couldn’t understand how I could remain so calm.

The bottom line is that I was right. Dorian skipped Puerto Rico and my flight arrived in New Jersey on time. I am grateful that I chose to enjoy my visit with friends and family instead of worrying about what never happened.

As for my father, he can keep his supplies handy for the next storm, as surely others will follow.

And I pray that others in the path of Hurricane Dorian are prepared to face the dangers ahead and will be safe from harm.

The important thing to remember is that, after every storm, calm will follow and you can have a fresh start from the ground up. Every time.